Tag Archives: mom

Marianne’s Roses

7 Dec

When I was very young, my family moved from Illinois to Missouri. At the new house, my father promptly planted a row of roses along the back edge of the patio for my mother. Mom wasn’t a big gardener. I’m not sure how much time she or Dad spent tending her roses, but every summer, they bloomed. 

My husband and I recently bought a home in Timaru, New Zealand. It’s our fourth house, although we haven’t owned one since leaving the US in 2015. Buying a home here has been our dream for nearly a decade, so of course we’re floating on a cloud of joy now that we;re home owners—but for me, it’s not just the house that’s making me happy. It’s the roses.

City of Roses

I can’t smell a rose without thinking of my mom, and Timaru is teeming with them. We just happened to drive past this gorgeous “Rose Cottage” while running errands this morning.

In five minutes, I can walk from our front door to a gorgeous rose garden in Caroline Bay, a beautiful city park.

Last weekend, a rose festival kicked off the summer season. (New Zealand is in the southern hemisphere, so summer begins in December.) And there are roses casually strewn about everywhere, decorating the lawns and gardens of nearly every house.

A Woman Who Prays

Dec 7 was my mom’s birthday. She passed away a few years ago. Some people say that grieving hearts heal over time, but I’m not sure that’s true. It’s more like grief changes you. You learn to function in spite of it.

My mother never stopped praying, and I know she had a hand in guiding me and Fred to Timaru, city of roses. Strangely, our new house—which has plenty of other flowers—had nary a rose. We fixed that today. We bought this rose and planted it for my mom, Marianne.

She is everywhere here, all around me, in every rose.

I feel closer now to my mother than ever—despite the grief and loss, which are still there, and always will be. I’m very, very grateful for our new home, and for the roses,

My Mom

7 Dec

Today—December 7—would have been my mom’s 84th birthday. She passed away in late September.

My mom didn’t have a super-happy childhood, but all of that changed when she met my dad.

The Tragedy

In 1969, when I was very young, my parents and aunt and uncle were in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. My uncle was behind the wheel. His wife, riding shotgun, was instantly killed. (My beautiful Aunt Emma. Mother of five.) My parents were in the back seat. Of the survivors, Mom was the most seriously hurt. She was told she’d never walk again, which turned out not to be true. She also suffered a brain injury, however, from which she never fully recovered.

When I think of my mom, and my own life, I’m reminded of Isaac. Years ago in a bible study, I learned that Isaac’s life was less eventful than other Old Testament heroes. He was nearly sacrificed by his father, Abraham, but that happened when he was very young.

I don’t remember life before the crash, so I never really got to know my mother as her true self. I grew up like Isaac, in relative calm, after my family’s terrible tragedy.

One day I will write all about this, but not today. Today I celebrate my beautiful mother, Marianne, as she was—the Marianne I never got to know.

I love you, Mom.